This line from Psalm 119 sums up the lives of two of the most loved and respected people we know and love. Please share your stories, memories, anecdotes or even snapshots of Mike and Jeanne. We would love to know how they "lit the path before you."
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I met Mike and Jeanne when my daughter, Grace, played Soccer on the team with Molly, before Molly joined the travel team. I didn't know them very well; just had light conversations with them at games and other team events. But their devotion to their girls was obvious even to the casual observer.
ReplyDeleteMy last memory of them is a pleasant scene, a fitting symbol of the way they lived. I hadn't seen them for a couple years, and then early this past Summer I was at their neighborhood pool for my son's Baseball team's end of season party. The Merrill family came and sat down nearby as the party was winding down. Mike and Jeanne were giving Popsicle to their kids, and they brought enough to feed all the kids around them. Some kids who knew them came close and got a Popsicle, and then Mike and Jeanne let all the kids in the vicinity know they were welcome to have one. Just seconds later there was an empty Popsicle carton and a bunch of smiling kids, including my son.
Last Saturday my son's Baseball team had another end of season party. As it wound down, instead of the Merrills coming to hand out Popsicles, there came a sudden hard rain. We made our way to the car and drove down Frontier Drive toward the Parkway. As we approached it, I saw the traffic suddenly jammed up on the ramp, with one after another emergency vehicle hurrying across the bridge.
As we passed the accident scene, I feared that someone may have died, from the looks of it; and I said a silent prayer for mercy. I didn't find out until the next day that it was Mike and Jeanne. Though I barely knew them, I cried as soon as I heard it, and it has affected me profoundly since then.
We Christians know that death is a vanquished enemy, but she runs her course in this age and she has not yet exhausted herself. I have felt her sting more than once, but I think I never saw a death so sad as this; parents torn from the children they so fiercely loved and protected.
But I never saw a funeral so beautiful as the one given for Mike and Jeanne. All you who loved them so dearly during their time in this world, you did them a great and fitting honor. You showed us all what amazing people they were, and how deeply you loved and enjoyed them.
And we heard the Gospel of hope in the midst of unspeakable sadness, from lay person and Clergy alike. This hope is founded not merely in unsuppressible longing, but in the reality that we are all sojourners here. We were made for a better world, and we see the signposts to it in the faith and hope that cannot be extinguished even by a loss too deep for words.
Emma, Molly, Margaret, and Kate: know that many of us are hurting for you and with you. Know that though the path of your sorrow appears long and foreboding, you have many that love you and you do not walk it alone. I hope that you will always remember and repeat to yourselves the words of the song that we all sang to you as you walked so bravely into your parents Funeral service. It is your Savior speaking to you:
"Be not Afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me, and I will give you rest."
In my first year of teaching at St. Bernadette School, I had Emma in my class. She's the type of student any teacher would love to have the opportunity to educate. I wanted to support her in areas beyond the books, so I went to her Jr. Olympics swim meet in MD. It was there that I witnessed the dedication Jeanne and Mike had for their children. I also had the opportunity to spend time with Molly, who was in first grade at the time. We ate lunch together and then walked around the arena. Since then I have called Molly "grapes" because she kept dropping them as she was eating them. Most likely, Molly will be in my 5th grade class next year as Emma moves on to high school. I love both of these girls and it is my promise that I will do whatever I can, whether in prayer or action, to be there for Emma and Molly.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jeanne and Mike, for being a witness to the Catholic faith and showing us all what it means to be a family.
"So you have pain now; but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take joy from you." John 16:22
Susan Shea
Jeanne and I are friends from James Madison University. She lived on my hall senior year; Jeanne was a junior. I knew her via other friends; we didn't know each other very well. I had just returned from a studies abroad program at University of London. I had grown and matured (both spiriturally and emotionally), and was not only culture shocked, but a bit shell shocked to be back at JMU. I had a broken heart and was dealing with some hard issues. All this growth seemed wasted on most people who just wanted to find the next party! It was very isolating. Everyone on our hall went out to Greek row one night. I stayed in my room. I heard a quiet knock on the door. It was Jeanne! She asked if she could hang out. She was very interested in European history and had heard that I had traveled Europe by myself after my studies. She politely asked if she could see all my picture albums and hear ALL about my experiences! Needless to say, we became FAST friends. We talked for hours; laughing, sharing, and getting to know each other. Needless to say, that friendship lasted ... on through college, to first jobs, weddings, babies, and couple friendships. In fact, one of Mike and Jeanne's first dates was OUR WEDDING! I'll save that story for another time!
ReplyDeleteWhenever the 4 of us got together there was no stopping the laughing, talking and fun. We especially enjoyed the times at each others' homes when our kids were involved. There were games in the backyard; great food, drink and lively discussion. I'm so glad for the times together. They will be sorely missed.
This is just a short comment about how we met ... I'll share more stories later ...
If I try to find ways how I could relate to this beautiful family is that, I also have a 9 year old and a 3 year old daughter, in addition to my 7 year old daughter and I work for the same company that Jeanne used to work, Booz Allen Hamilton. First, I heard this tragic story through email sent through our company. Then I found out the service is at St. Bernadette, which is in my neighborhood. I never met Jeanne but I was really touched with this story and my heart is in pain. I am still struggling with the thoughts of how the kids are going to handle this, how they are feeling now etc. So I decided to attend the service on Thursday and I went to the Church despite all the deadliness I had that day for a big release for a client. I approached Molly to say few words as if that would change the whole world. I said, "Molly, everything will be okay." and she nodded her head. I am generally empathetic person esp. when it comes to kids but I don't remember feeling this much for a family I have not met before. I am feeling it as if this has happened to my kids. When I see and talk with my kids now, I see the 4 kids at the back of my mind.
ReplyDeleteEmma, Molly, Margaret, and Kate: I had you in my prayers all this week and I will. May God give you all the strength in the world. I hope one day soon, you will all be happy and smiling again. You have touched the heart of many people including someone who did not even know you before like me. And a lot of people are now hurting with you. A lot of people would like to help in many ways, including me. I makes me feel better that you have close families that could take care of you really good. St. Bernadette Church felt like it is a great family to support you. Please post back on a day you felt good and happy to let us know how you are doing. A lot of people are thinking about you and will not forget this.
I had the pleasure to get to know your mom and dad through the South Run summer swimming program over the last four years. Your dad’s father was my high school football coach, so we had a natural connection. I went to Indiana University instead of Purdue and if you live in Indiana that’s a big deal. However, your dad did not hold that against me. Your mom introduced herself to me at my second swim home meet, while I was the referee. She was a super, pleasant, person. The last two years, I have served with her on the swim team committee and there have been some tough challenges for our swim team. She was always practical and kept the pros and cons very simple.
ReplyDeleteYour dad was one of the most levelheaded men I have ever had a pleasure to get to know. During a tough, sticky, summer swim challenge, he told me that I needed to just do what was right to run a good swim meet and keep it fun for the children. My fondest memory of your parents was at lunch (summer 2009) after I tough swimming meet, while at Glory Days restaurant. I sat with them and it was a pure joy to converse with them. May God guide you and please keep in mind a set of verses that has helped me the last ten years--Math 6:31-34 (take one day at a time; he will take care of rest and you). God bless, Bob Larsen
It's been two weeks, and it's not an easy task to continue with "Life as we knew it." The initial shock of your parents passing has abated for us (although probably not for you), and what continues are the complex emotions that we know will be a part of all of our lives for a long time, maybe even forever--the feeling of grief, the sadness of loss, the anger at the circumstances. But part of God's tender mercies include the happy thoughts that make these other feelings bearable. Do not let your sadness dim the joyful memories of your parents' lives. This is much easier said than done, we know.
ReplyDeleteI write this today, because I know it's your mother's birthday today. (I remember this because my birthday is also in November, and we loved to tease your father and Ted about how the two of them "robbed the cradle" when they married us.) Part of the joy that I will remember is the fun we had just sitting around being together, sharing stories, teasing each other, laughing, and watching you all. Those memories never fail to give us the strength to carry through to another day.
So today we give thanks to both of your parents for their love and laughter, and especially your mom today as we remember her birthday.
With Love, Lisa Wackler
For Emma, Molly, Margret and Kate;
ReplyDeleteI have so many stories and memories of your Dad and Mom. So many that I have had a hard time even thinking of what would be good to share. As they come to me, and they are coming, I am writing them down and will continue to send them to you.
The first memory that hit me just the other day was the story of your dad getting his wings. He had finished his Naval training in Pensacola Florida. I can’t remember for sure how long the basic training period is, but I know that it is long and very grueling.
During basic there is a Gunnery Sergeant that is in the recruits face day and night. Their goal is to get as many recruits as possible to drop out. They absolutely thrive on it. If you have ever seen the movie An Office and A Gentleman, it was much like that.
The recruits come onto the base with the ranking of Ensign, they meet the Gunny, who out ranks them. They are each give a coin that they keep until they graduate. At the moment that they graduate, they hand the coin back to the Gunny; the Gunny salutes the new Lieutenant Junior Grade who now out ranks him. The Lieutenant Junior Grade returns the salute to the gunny, and they move on down the line.
Well as you can imagine, there is much talk before the graduation of how they are going to make the gunny hold his salute for hours, or maybe even days. On this beautiful Florida morning, one recruit after another received his wings and turned in his coin. No one has the tenacity to make the gunny wait before saluting him back. But not your dad. No your dad being true to his word stares the gunny eye to eye for what seemed like days. And then as only your Dad could do, he smirked and saluted him back. The gunny actually laughed and said that he would miss having your dad around. That is practically unheard of.
Your dad was a man. A man that could even get a gunnery sergeant to laugh.
During basic there is a gunnery sergeant that is in the recruits face day and night. Their goal is to get as many recruits as possible to drop out. They literally thrive on it.
During basic there is a gunnery sergeant that is in the recruits face day and night. Their goal is to get as many recruits as possible to drop out. They literally During basic there is a gunnery sergeant that is in the recruits face day and night. Their goal is to get as many recruits as possible to drop out. They literally thrive on it.
thrive on it.
With love and care,
Andrew and Traci Hession
I was Emma's Girl Scout Leader both for Daisy and Brownie Girl Scouts, from Emma's Kindergarten year through 3rd grade year. She and my daughter, Emily, were in the same class as well.
ReplyDeleteI loved the years I did scouting both for you girls - remember the meetings, Emma, and me "trying" to keep you all quiet because you were having so much fun - and for me having the opportunity to meet and work with the wonderful set of parents we had there. Your mom and dad were quite special.
Emma, I have pictures of our Daisy meetings, our Investiture Ceremony, your mom always there with Molly, or she was chasing Molly!!?? She enjoyed coming to our events and supporting you and your scouting. I saw I even have a picture of your Mom and Molly attending your Saints Day Parade at St. Bernadettes Kindergarten year. She truly loved sharing your special day to day school events.
Your dad, Emma, really enjoyed our woodworking class at the Woodcraft store in Springfield. I clearly remember waiting at woodcraft outside the "working area" and he came out and said " I just love this!". It made me happy that it was a successful event for dads and daughters. Just like your Mom he enjoyed the day to day school events. I also have another memory of your Dad. One of our years of scouting we had an evening meeting time, late at night. One evening at pick up time, snow was starting to fall. They were calling for a possible snow storm event the evening and next day. Your dad was so excited and you could see the twinkle in his eye at the possibility of a "snow day".
Emma, a few small but precious memories I wanted to write for you to have. I am still local, in the same house, if you want to connect for I am sure I have more to share...along with the pictures. Your parents would be so proud of you now. Emma, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your sisters. You are lucky to have such a wonderful extended family. I even remember seeing your Grandma around town and with your Mom at many of these school events. Again, how lucky you are to have them all.
With love,
Mrs. Denise Lloyd
Dear Emma, Molly, Margaret, and Kate:
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that yesterday (November 14th) was another hard day out of many, and we were thinking about you and praying for you. Since yesterday was your parents' wedding anniversary, I thought I would share a little story about your mom and dad's marriage.
I think Ted and I got off to a bit of a rocky start with your mom. After all, we had been close friends with one of your dad's old girlfriends. When your dad brought your mom around, Ted and I didn't know quite how we should react. Should we welcome her with open arms? Should we act indignant or incensed? In the end, I think we acted somewhere between these ends of the spectrum. I'm quite sure that we gave the impression of not being interested, or--worse yet--really rude!
But then a funny thing happened. We got to know your mom. And more importantly, we got to see how she was as a person, and how your dad was when he was around her. Your father was over-the-moon with your mother. He wasn't a different person around her...he was a better person around her. And we knew that it was meant to be.
Not long after they had married, I sat down with your mom and told her that "yes," we had known your dad's old girlfriend, but that we knew that your mom and dad were made for each other. And we simply couldn't picture your dad with any other woman, ever. And it's true. In a good marriage, it's not just one + one = two. In a good marriage, two people become something much, much more. And your mom and dad had a great Christian marriage. Separately, they were strong. But together, they were formidable.
We are thinking about them, and we are thinking about you.
With Love, Lisa Wackler
Emma, Molly, Margaret and Kate,
ReplyDeleteI grew up with your mom, your Aunt Cathy and our friends Jenny and Pam on Ann Peake Drive. Many of the memories I’m going to share with you are the same that I’ve shared with my own kids. If there’s ever a beautiful spring or summer day when my kids want to sit around and watch TV or play computer games, I pull out the stories about our time on Ann Peake and mold them into a lecture about how much fun we had back in the “old days” before we had cable television, the xbox, or the wii. Without those distractions, we had to invent our own fun, and your mother was up to the task. She was creative, athletic, competitive, kind and fun. I’m so grateful for the time I got to spend with her.
Jeanne and I were fast friends, bonded immediately on the first day we met through our mutual love for Donny and Marie Osmond. Your mom LOVED Donny and Marie—especially Marie. On their show, they always closed by singing the song, “I’m a Little Bit Country.” Before our first day of friendship was over, we had nailed down our respective parts to this song: your mom would sing Marie’s part (“I’m a little bit country”) and I would sing Donny’s part, (“and I’m a little bit rock and roll”). We acted the whole thing out with dance moves, hand gestures and all. Once perfected, we sang it into the bathroom mirror; we sang it while dancing down the basement stairs; we even sang it while walking down the street in broad daylight. Your Aunt Cathy would roll her eyes at us, and we would just fall on the ground laughing about how ridiculous we were. But then, of course, we’d get up and do it all over again.
Later, we discovered that we could sing harmony together. The problem was that we only knew one song. On a week-long trip we took to visit our friend Pam in New Jersey, your mother and I harmonized to “Down in the Valley” over and over again. We were so vain, we couldn’t hide how much we loved to hear the sound of our own voices! Pam, Jenny and your Aunt Cathy appreciated our singing the first few times through, but we eventually wore out their ears. At one point, I remember Jenny throwing herself on the bed and yelling, “Oh my God, stop!” Your mom just looked at me and shrugged. “We can sing if we want to,” she said. So we went right back to it. Your mother had a beautiful voice, and she loved to use it. I was always so glad she would let me sing with her.
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(Continued from previous post) We were all athletic and we spent much of our long hot summers outside: doing gymnastics, playing soccer in the cul de sac, and, thanks to your Aunt Cathy, skateboarding barefoot and helmetless down the hill on Ann Peake Dr. Among many other skateboard tricks, your Aunt Cathy taught us all how to catamaran. I’ll try to explain it, but have Cathy teach you, it’s great fun! To do it, two of us would sit on our skateboards sideways (facing each other). Then we’d put our feet on each others’ boards and lock arms. If we were lucky, we’d have a third person to give us a push, then we’d fly down the hill and take the corner around the cul de sac at top speed, with the inside person leaning so far back our hair would drag on the road. What a blast! One day, your mom, Aunt Cathy and I decided that the third person should get to do more than push. Why not add them to the catamaran? We figured out that a third person could sit in the middle where they’d face forward on their board with their legs thrown over the legs of the other two people. “Brilliant!” we thought. We elected your mother to try it first. Almost immediately, we detected a flaw in our plan. Your mother’s board began to wobble uncontrollably as we picked up speed. Suddenly, the board flew out from under her. She was wearing these flimsy terry cloth shorts that were very fashionable at the time, but they did little to protect her rear end when she suddenly found herself catamaraning with no board. She got a huge raspberry on her backside, and she wasn’t happy with Cathy or me at all. She kept howling about how much “it burned,” so your Aunt Cathy and I, trying to make things up to her, thought it would be helpful to spray benzocaine on the wound (since this was a popular remedy for sunburn at the time). Apparently, you shouldn’t put benzocaine on an open scrape. When we realized this, your Aunt Cathy and I began frantically trying to blow on your mom’s butt to “cool it off” as she hopped around my parents basement yelling, “OOOOOOOOH! OOOOOOOH! It still burns!”
ReplyDeleteShe got her revenge, however, by arguing that the problem with our plan lay simply with her board, “Sizzler.” Sizzler turned easily because it had very loose trucks. She argued that this caused her board to wobble, and that I should try it again using my own board. So we went back out to the street where I took the middle spot. Much to your mother’s pleasure, I got my own turn riding down the street on my backside. I was lucky, however, because we didn’t repeat the benzocaine treatment. But like your mother, I had to walk around for days with a big bandage hanging out of the back of my cute terri-cloth shorts. I suppose the lesson here: if you’re going to catamaran, where rugged shorts, keep it to two people, and never put benzocaine on an open cut.
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(Continued from previous post) Once we’d worn ourselves out on the skateboards, we’d hit the pool. Believe it or not, despite all the summer afternoons we spent in the water, I don’t know if we ever raced! When we weren’t laying out lathered in tanning oil (no sunscreen back then), your mom and I were in the pool making up synchronized swimming routines. Again, we imagined ourselves performers, practicing our routines and coaching each other through our latest invented moves. I wonder why we never hit the big time, surely there’s a high demand out there for singing synchronized swimmers with beautiful suntans!?
ReplyDeleteAnd finally, when even the pool was too hot, the summer sun drove us indoors to the cool air of our parents’ basements where we’d play Pay Day, Monopoly and…CARDS. No one could play cards as fast as your mom – except me! Well, your mom would dispute that, so I’ll leave it up for debate. The point is, your mom and I loved to play really really fast card games with bizarre names like: Egyptian Rat Screw, Spit, Speed, and Bloody Knuckles. When we played with each other, the cards would fly so fast no spectator could follow what was happening. We’d even gouge each other’s hands accidentally with our fingernails when trying to race each other to a pile of cards. This happened often enough that we began cutting our nails before playing to prevent injury. I don’t know why we worried about the pain since the rules of “Bloody Knuckles” required the winner to bang the loser on the knuckles with the deck of cards so hard they would bleed. We thought this was absolutely hilarious. What were we thinking? We played these games in pairs or in groups with Jenny, Pam, your Aunt Cathy, me and your mom. It was always fun and competitive, but there was nothing like a match between your mother and I.
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(Continued from previous post) Eventually, these childhood games melted away into the quiet of our teen years where we’d gather on the curb on Ann Peake to talk about school and boys, or take long walks together through the neighborhood chewing big wads of grape bubbleyum and planning our futures. Other times we’d just sit around in our bedrooms listening to music. During the summers in high school, our families vacationed together at Nags Head, and we’d bring the music to the beach with us. Your mother, the queen of the sun gods, would lay out for hours, and she’d bring her cassette player/radio down with her so we could all listen. One summer, I remember the Eurythmics had just come out with the song, “Sweet Dreams.” We had never heard a song like it before. Since your mother and I had a penchant for listening to (or singing) the same song repeatedly, we got that song on tape so we could play, rewind, play, rewind, play rewind until Jenny and Cathy wanted to toss the radio into the ocean. To this day, that song makes me think of your mother basking in the sun all brown in her blue and white striped bikini happily wiggling her toes in the sand to the music.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was young, I remember asking my dad, “Were you “cool” in high school?” I was so disappointed when he said, “no.” But as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that it’s probably to his credit to have been a bit of a “nerd” as he described it. If you have this same question about your mom, I’d probably have to say that she was also not “cool” when she was young. But I mean this in a good way. Your mom wasn’t worried enough about what other people thought of her to be cool. She had a strong moral compass, believed intensely in her ideas about right and wrong, and she lived by her code. We were pretty good kids on Ann Peake –we didn’t get into too much trouble, but when we did, your mom was always there to set us straight. I think this is probably one of the most important things that your mother would have wanted to teach you: to know the right path and to walk it. It takes guts to do that and your mother had them. I’m so sorry she will no longer be able to show you this by example, but it’s so important for you to know that this is how she lived her life.
As your Aunt Cathy already said, you mother always talked about growing up to be a mom. There was never a time when you all weren’t part of her plan. I’m so glad that she had the chance to know you and love you, and I’m equally sorry that she did not get to finish the job. But carry her in your hearts always, because I know there is no other place she would rather be.
Sincerely,
Your mom’s old friend Deb (Tonkin) Werrlein